


Nicknames and Chrysanthemums

by DiAngelo2000



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crushes, Cute, First Kiss, Flirting, Flowers, Full Moon, Getting Together, James Potter is a Good Friend, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), My First Fanfic, Nicknames, Original Character(s), Patronus Charm (Harry Potter), Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29072307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiAngelo2000/pseuds/DiAngelo2000
Summary: Remus has been utterly and irrevocably in love with Sirius Black for years. But Sirius has been very obviously not interested, if the many girls he's been with count for anything. When the two boys grow closer after a disastrous Defense Against the Dark Arts class, Remus starts to think that maybe there is the possibility for something more between them.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 74





	Nicknames and Chrysanthemums

Remus felt like the world was laughing at him. Finally, he had a boy in his lap, but it was just the _wrong boy_.

James, having gotten disastrously drunk, had found himself in Remus’s lap. He was yelling into Remus’s ear (clearly under the impression he was whispering) about how attractive Lily Evans was, and how he would very much like to snog her. Lily, who was in the corner pretending to read a book, was watching James with amusement.

Remus kept nodding along to James, but couldn’t hear a word he was saying. His vision was focused solely on Sirius, who was currently sticking his tongue down a nameless girl’s throat. Remus hated watching it with a burning passion, but couldn’t bring himself to look away.

Remus’s attention was brought back to James when he hooked a hand under Remus’s chin and turned his head to make Remus look at him.

“Why don’t you have a girlfriend Remus?” James asked. Peter looked up from where he was sitting talking to Mary and Marlene. Even Sirius removed his tongue from the girl’s mouth to look over at James and Remus.

“Yeah, why don’t you?” Peter asked.

“Not interested,” Remus replied, shrugging, silently praying for the subject to change.

“What do you mean “not interested”?” Sirius asked, separating himself from the girl and going to sit on the floor in front of Remus and James. The girl huffed and left, but Sirius didn’t even look at her as she left.

“I can set you up with one of my friends!” Mary offered kindly. Remus smiled politely back, trying his best not to hex her.

“I’m honestly fine guys.” Remus pushed James off his lap, aiming to push him onto the seat on the sofa next to him. James stumbled and fell onto the floor next to Sirius.

“Hey!” James yelled, and then stretched his arms above his head and laid his head on Sirius’s lap.

“Sorry, James.” Remus stood up. “But I’m tired, I'm heading to bed.”

“But don’t you want a girlfriend?” Sirius called after Remus as he started to head up to the dormitories. Remus froze. This was the first time Sirius had talked to him all night. Usually, Sirius was loud and joyous when he got drunk. But, today he had been subdued and quiet ever since James handed him his first beer.

“I’m good,” Remus said. “And besides it’s not like you can just get me a girlfriend.”

“There's plenty of girls who would date you, Moony,” James said and Sirius nodded.

“I just don’t want to date right now. I’m busy and exams…” Remus trailed off as James, Sirius, and Peter all groaned.

“After exams then,” James suggested.

“Fine!” Remus said, doing his best not to yell at them. “Happy now?”

“Yes,” James said confidently, and Sirius smiled at Remus.

_That fucking smile._

“Good night then!” Remus huffed.

“Good night!” Sirius and James sing-songed after him. He shot them a V and went up to the dormitories.

* * *

Hours later Remus still lay awake in the dormitory. He could hear quiet breathing from James and Sirius’s beds, who had come up to the dorm about an hour after Remus.

Remus couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation they had all had earlier, and how in a month, after the exams, he would be getting a girlfriend.

Maybe it wasn’t such a bad idea. Maybe dating a nice girl would get him over his stupid crush on Sirius.

Sirius and _his fucking smile._

Remus had been in love with him ever since the first full moon with the marauders. The amount of time and effort they had put into becoming animagi made Remus realize how much he loved his friends. He realized how much he loved Sirius (in a very different way than Peter and James) right after the moon when Remus had been weak and shaking, but for the first time in his life after a moon, not covered head to toe in cuts and bruises.

Sirius had handed him one of the ratty old blankets from the bed in the Shrieking Shack and put it around Remus’s shoulders.

“Are you okay, Moony?” Sirius had asked in his softest voice. Remus’s heart had broken.

Now laying in bed, he matched his breathing to Sirius’s in the bed next to him, and slowly fell to sleep.

* * *

A week later, Remus was standing in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, starting to get a headache from concentrating. They had been working on patronuses for a week but Remus still hadn’t managed to cast his. Sirius and James had gotten theirs quickly, both getting the animals of their animagi. Even Peter had eventually gotten his, which was also his animagus. Remus kept trying to conjure his, but couldn’t seem to do it.

Part of him wondered if it was because he couldn’t think of any happy memories. Most of his happiest memories with the marauders were shrouded with his feelings for Sirius and that he could never have him.

But they were still some of his happiest memories, and surely enough to get a patronus.

The other part of him knew why he couldn’t conjure a patronus. He simply didn’t want to, He was scared of what it would be. The boys had sat in their dormitories the night before they started practicing, and discussed what they thought their animals would be. All of them decided it would be their animagi, and all were correct. Remus also knew what his would be, and dreaded it.

“You can do it, Remus!” James called from across the room, and Remus shot him a look. Next to him, Sirius sat worrying his lip, his eyes watching Remus. That didn’t make him feel any better and only added to the churning in his stomach.

“Expecto Patronum!” Remus cried again, and a few silvery wisps came out of his wand, only to fade quickly.

“Another try!” Remus could hear James’s words of encouragement from the other side of the room but was too focused to look up.  
Remus’s gaze was focused solely on his wand until he felt a hand on his shoulder. It was Sirius.

“Remus,” Sirius said his name softly, just like that night in the Shack. Remus tried not to flinch as Sirius moved his hand again to lay it on Remus’s arm.

“Yes, Pads?” Remus winced as he used Sirius’s nickname, and prayed no emotion was shown through the words.

“What memory are you thinking of?” Sirius’s hand was still on his arm and it was hard for Remus to think of anything else.

Lowering his voice, Remus said “that night. In the Shrieking Shack after my first full moon with you guys.”

Sirius gave him a strange look but then turned his gaze back to Remus’s wand. “Okay. Now think of that moment. Not just the moment, but the strong feelings you had at that moment.”

_It’s hard to think of anything but those strong feelings. Especially with you so close and your breath on the back of my neck._

“Now imagine those feelings coming out of you. Those happiest feelings taking a physical form.”

_If those feelings ever came out of me you might punch me. It might be worth it just for you to finally know how much I love you._

“Now say the words.”

“Expecto Patronum!” Remus shouted. _Your breath smells like strawberries._

A silvery image leaped out of Remus’s wand and sprinted around the room. At first, Remus couldn’t make out what it was, but eventually, his vision cleared and he could see. A wolf, its teeth were shining and its claws were sharp.

Sirius turned to Remus to say something, but Remus’s vision had gone red. That fucking wolf. He could feel the blood pouring out of his face, leaving him pale and cold. Sirius laid a hand on his cheek.  
“Moony?”

Remus turned abruptly, hitting Sirius with his shoulder as he ran out of the classroom. Sirius was left standing there, hand still raised from where it had been on Remus’s cheek, and the words “Are you okay?” dying on his lips.

Remus ran out of the classroom doing his best not to cry. He ducked into one of his hidden rooms in Hogwarts that he hid whenever he needed to be alone.

There he curled up into a ball and tucked his head between his knees. Rocking back and forth he was breathing very hard. The thoughts in his head were deafening and tears started to slip down his face.

Of course, it's the wolf. Of course. You were such an idiot for thinking that you are anything but the wolf. Anything but Moony.

Remus heard a knock at the door and then a voice.

“Remus? You in there?” It was Sirius.

Sirius had seen it all, Sirius knew he was nothing more than a werewolf.

“Please let me in, Remus.” Remus wiped the tears from his eyes as best he could.

“Leave me alone Sirius.”

“No. I know how in your head you get when you’re upset so I’m not going to leave you alone. I’ll spell the door open if I have to.”

“Fine. Come in.” Remus called to Sirius and hoped he didn’t look like he’d been crying.

Sirius opened the door and his eyes immediately went to Remus. He walked over to him and sat next to him on the floor.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Remus replied.

“Moony, you can talk to me.” Sirius touched Remus’s arm, but Remus shook him off.

“Please don’t call me that,” Remus asked, closing his eyes.

“You don’t like being called Moony?!” Sirius said, sliding back to get a better look at Remus. He sounded offended.

“No, I do. Just not right now.”

“Oh,” Sirius said after a moment. Then he moved again to sit right next to Remus, shoulder to shoulder, knee to knee.

“Well then. We have to get you a new nickname.”

“Mhm.” Remus wasn’t paying attention to what Sirius was saying, too focused on how close Sirius’s leg was to his.

“This one can only be used by me though.” That caught Remus’s attention.

“Only you?” Remus was trying not to blush. Sirius wanted a nickname just for him to use. A pet name. Like boyfriends.

“Yeah. Only me. Now, what would work…” Sirius’s eyebrows furrowed, clearly concentrating. “How about pumpkin?”

Remus frowned. “Definitely not.”

“Fine, how about Cupcake?”

“No. No food-related names.”

“I guess that rules out sugarplum.” Sirius cracked a grin at Remus and Remus couldn’t help but smile.

“Sugarplum isn’t so bad.”

“Yay! Suga-”

“Still a no though.”

“Merlin, this is harder than I thought.” Sirius huffed. “I’ll find the perfect nickname for you though, Remus. I promise I will.” Remus had to try so hard at that moment not to burst out with how much he loved Sirius. “But for now. I’m hungry. Let’s go to dinner.” Sirius held out a hand for Remus, and Remus took it. For a second Remus panicked, realizing that he and Sirius were holding hands. But then Sirius let go, his cheeks slightly pink. He headed towards the door, and Remus followed him down to the Dining Hall.

* * *

Over the next few days, Sirius continued on his quest to find Remus the perfect nickname.

“How does Darling sound?” Sirius asked Remus this with a grin on his face, sending a pang through Remus. He would love for Sirius to call him darling with every bit of his being. But that was never going to happen.

“No,” Remus said shortly, and turned his head back to his homework, leaning on the common room table.

“Why is Sirius calling you Darling?” James asked.

“He isn’t,” Remus answered.

“Okay, but why does he want to?”

“I’m trying to find the perfect nickname for Remus,” Sirius answered, leaning over to rest his chin on his hand on the table.

“He already has a nickname. Moon-”

“No. He needs a new one. So he has one that isn’t about the wolf. And one just for me.” Sirius looked very serious as he said this.

“Oh.” James looked from Remus to Sirius and then back to Remus. “Oh okay.” He nodded like he suddenly understood something he was previously confused by.

* * *

“What about ReRe? Or a nickname based on your name could work.”

“ReRe is weird,” James interjected in Remus’s and Sirius's conversation in the library.

“What? No, it isn’t.” Sirius shot back at James, frowning.

“Yes, it is! It sounds like a girl's nickname.” James frowned back at Sirius. Remus just sat there watching the back and forth between the two boys.

“Well, what would be a nickname for a boy?” Sirius asked, his eyebrows going from the furrowed they are when he’s annoyed to the furrowed they are when he’s confused. Remus wanted to reach out and smooth the crease between them. He wanted to smooth them out and then run his hand down Sirius’s face, curling his hand around his cheek. Then he would press his lips against Sirius’s softly...

Remus was shaken out of his daydreaming by James' voice.

“Champ. Dude. Sonny.” James was listing them off on his fingers, not looking at Sirius’s clearly disgusted face.

“Those are all terrible!” Sirius cried, which got him shushed by Madam Pince.

“I second that,” Remus said, looking up from his Transfiguration book.

“Why? My dad calls me those!” James said, clearly offended by the hate his nicknames were getting.

“Well I’m not Remus’s dad am I?” James nodded, understanding where Sirius was coming from. “And besides,” Sirius said, blushing. “It has to be special.” Sirius was bright red and avoided Remus’s eyes. “I have to go. Um- got to ask Flitwick about the last lesson.” He grabbed his books from the table and stood up quickly. He walked quickly out of the library, accidentally leaving his bag behind.

“What was that about?” James asked, looking back at Remus.

“I- I don’t know,” Remus replied, still gaping at the door, which was still swinging on its hinges.

* * *

Madam Pomfrey was resting her hand on Remus’s shoulder as she steered him towards the Shrieking Shack. Remus was worrying his lip and kept an eye out for the brown rat that should be watching him enter the Whomping Willow.

They had done this many times before, and it had always gone smoothly. That didn’t help Remus’s anxiety as he thought of the hours ahead. His friends would be with him, but only the wolf would be in control.

As he entered the Shack and said goodbye to Madam Pomfrey, he could still feel his dinner churning in his stomach. Madam Pomfrey kissed his forehead before she left, promising to be back in the morning.

Remus sat on the creaky old bed that was in the room and brought the ratty blanket around his shoulders. He was already shivering though it was in the midst of spring.

The door at the back of the room creaked open and the other three marauders entered. Peter had already transformed and was sitting on James' shoulder. James sat down on the floor in front of the bed and Sirius sat next to Remus. Peter scuttled down James’s arm and rested on Remus’s knee.

“You doing okay?” Sirius asked, leaning his head on Remus’s shoulder. James looked away.

“Yeah, I’m okay. Just nervous.” Remus could only feel his shoulder where Sirius’s head laid. The rest of his body felt numb.

“It’ll be okay.” Sirius curled his fingers around Remus’s, but lifted his head and looked in the other direction. Remus both wanted to yank his fingers out of Sirius’s grasp and leave them there forever. He tightened his grip on Sirius’s hand. Sirius looked back at him.

“Remus-'' Sirius started to say something. Unfortunately, the wolf had other plans.

“It’s happening.” Remus pushed Sirius away and avoided looking at his hurt look. “Transform now!”

Remus could feel the wolf starting to appear, and curled up on the floor. Sirius, now in Padfoot form, curled up next to him and licked his face. Remus smiled at him for a second, until the wolf overtook him.

* * *

Remus slowly regained consciousness with his cheek pressed to the cold hard floor. He was naked except for the same ratty old blanket from the bed wrapped around his shoulders. Slowly he opened his eyes. The room was empty except for a black dog sitting in the corner.

“Padfoot?” Remus croaked.

Padfoot quickly transformed back into Sirius and ran over to Remus. “Hey, Rems, you okay?”

“I'm okay. I'm not injured, but I’m achy.” Remus’s eyes slipped closed again and every part of his body ached for sleep.

“Madam Pomfrey will be here soon to help you back to Hogwarts.”

“Where are Wormtail and Prongs?”

“They headed back.”

“But you stayed?”

“Yeah. Always Mooncakes.” The serious moment was broken as Sirius struggled not to grin.

“Mooncakes?” Remus chuckled.

“Yeah, sorry, I know it’s bad.” Sirius blushed and looked down at his crossed legs.

“It’s not actually your worst one.”

“Really?!” Sirius smiled widely at Remus, making his heart flutter.

“It’s still not great,” Remus replied, grinning at Sirius’s exasperated expression.

“Ugh, I can never find the right one!” Sirius flopped back onto the floor.

“You’ll get one eventually.”

“Oh, will I?... Babe?” Sirius smiled nervously at Remus. Remus was blushing hard now.

“I- I like Babe.” Remus forced himself to continue looking at Sirius.

“You do?” Sirius sat up, serious now, looking at Remus.

“Yeah.” Sirius was silent now, looking at Remus. Remus swallowed and was suddenly aware he was still naked. Sirius leaned slightly forward, his mouth getting closer to Remus’s. Sirius reached out a hand to hook it behind Remus’s neck, his thumb grazing the side of his neck. Sirius leaned in even closer and Remus could start to feel his breath on his lips. His heart was beating fast and he darted out his tongue to lick his lips.

Suddenly there was a knock at the door, and a voice called out. “Remus? Remus, honey, you awake?” Madam Pomfrey knocked on the door again. Remus back away from Sirius.

“Yes, Madam Pomfrey, I’m awake!.” He motioned for Sirius, who was still frozen on the ground, arm outstretched, to leave. Sirius finally snapped out of it, transformed back to Padfoot, and ran out the door.

Madam Pomfrey entered the room, leaving Sirius just enough time to run out. She handed Remus his clothes and waited outside for him to get changed.

* * *

As Remus passed The Fat Lady’s portrait and entered the Gryffindor common room he felt butterflies churning in his stomach. He tugged on his tie nervously, twisting it around his hand. He kept replaying his interaction with Sirius in his head, twisting it more in his head each time.

_Did he want to kiss me? Maybe that's not what he wanted. Or maybe I should’ve kissed him. Maybe that was my only chance and that’ll never happen. Maybe he’s now with a girl doing exactly what I’ve wanted to do with him for years._

Remus passed James and Peter who were playing wizards chess on the common room sofa. They each in turn gave him a nod, and then let him go up. They rarely mentioned the moon right afterward, leaving Remus time to rest before having to tell him what they got up to with the wolf.

Remus made his way up the rickety staircase. He dragged his feet, dreading what was awaiting him in the dorm. He hoped that Sirius wasn’t there, that he at least had time to prepare himself before having to see him again.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t so lucky. He opened the door to be greeted by Sirius sitting on Remus’s bed, fidgeting with the tails of his shirt. Sirius looked up as Remus entered, his hands clenching and unclenching repeatedly.

Remus stood frozen in the doorway for a second, before stepping forward and closing the door behind him. Sirius stood up at the same time and the boy stood face to face. Remus swallowed. His gaze slipped down Sirius’s face to stare at his lips. Sirius bit his lip, chewing on it slightly.

“Sirius-'' Remus started, stepping forwards slightly. Before Remus could finish Sirius rushed forward and wrapped his fist around Remus’s tie. He pulled Remus close to him and pushed their lips together. Remus was frozen for a second until he finally melted against Sirius’s chest. Sirius brought his arms up to hook them behind Remus’s neck and smiled slightly into the kiss. Remus brought one hand to rest on the small of Sirius’s back, and the other he laid on his chest. They stood there for a couple seconds, lips not separating, until pulling away to breathe. Remus was breathing hard but went back again to kiss Sirius again. He couldn’t help but smile into the kiss, causing Sirius to smile back. Remus’s teeth caught on Sirius’s lip, pulling it into his mouth. He sucked on it lightly drawing a moan from Sirius’s mouth.

Eventually, Remus drew back from Sirius and looked up into his eyes. “I- I should sleep.” He still ached after the full moon, despite the healing effects of Madam Pomfrey’s potions and kissing the boy he’d been in love with for years.

“Oh! Right, you must be tired. I’ll leave you to sleep.” Sirius tucked his hands awkwardly in his robe pockets as Remus sat down on his bed.

“I’ll see you later,” Remus said, laying back against his pillows, cheeks red. “Later we can…”

“Talk. About things.” Sirius finished his sentence, nodding. They both understood that somethings between them still needed to be discussed.

“Yeah. See you later, Sirius.” Remus smiled at Sirius, who leaned down to Remus’s bed. Sirius waited a moment, his lips inches away from Remus’s, asking permission. Remus granted it, leaning forward to press his lips against Sirius’s.

Slowly pulling away, Sirius made his way over to the door. “Okay. Um, see you later Remus.” Still blushing he turned to Remus once more. “See you later, Babe.”

* * *

Remus and Sirius had decided to keep their relationship a secret, at least until after the exams. They knew then they’d have to tell James about it before he managed to set Remus up on that date with a girl.

For now, they explored their new relationship privately. And Remus loved every second of it.

His new favorite part of his day was when he would meet Sirius in the library for “studying”. They would duck behind the Transfiguration novels to makeout before James joined them after Quidditch Practice. If they didn’t get to the library they would sneak into the empty Charms classroom after lunch. Thank Merlin Flitwick never caught them.

Sirius would duck into Remus’s bed at night once James and Peter had fallen asleep. In the night, under the illumination of a Lumos spell, they would talk for hours on end. They would talk about everything and anything.

Sometimes it was something simple, like the latest Quidditch game. Other times it got more serious, and Remus would tell Sirius about all the times he had ached as Sirius would go from girlfriend to girlfriend, leaving Remus to pine after him desperately. Sirius would then tell Remus about all the times he had been with girls and thought about Remus. How he wished it was Remus’s hand he was holding, Remus who he was snogging in classrooms. And then Remus would kiss him lightly and remind him that now, they could do that all they wanted. Sirius would grin back at him, and the rest of the night they would spend wrapped in each other's arms.

Sometimes, they would talk about life outside of Hogwarts. Sirius would tell Remus about his terrible family, and how he was eternally grateful for the Potters taking him in. Talking about his mother would often upset Sirius, but now he could burrow into Remus’s chest, and hide his face in his neck. Remus would hold him, and start talking about life after Hogwarts. They could get an apartment together in London. Sirius could have a huge collection of muggle motorcycles and Remus could open a bookshop. They both knew this was an unrealistic daydream, as the looming war ahead would make it impossible for their daydream utopia to ever happen.

* * *

The weekend before exam week the couple was laying under a tree near the lake. They were hidden from view so they risked holding hands. They were laughing and talking about the last Quidditch game and James’s winning shot against Ravenclaw. It would be Gryffindor versus Slytherin for the final, and everyone was eager for the game.

“I can’t wait to see James beat Snivellus in the final.” Sirius stood up with excitement, gesturing wildly at Remus.

“You mean you can’t wait to see Gryffindor beat Slytherin,” Remus smirked at Sirus’s excited movements.

“Nope! Snivellus will get what's coming to him!” Sirius whooped and punched the air, making Remus laugh.

“You’re cute.” That made Sirius stop, and look at Remus, an incredulous smile on his face.

“You think I’m cute?” Sirius was blushing now.

“Yeah of course. You’re my boyfriend.” Remus was blushing slightly now too.

“Boyfriend?” Sirius flopped to the floor in front of Remus. Remus looks up at him, nervous.

“I- uh. Yeah. Boyfriend. Is that okay?”

“Yeah. That’s okay. Definitely.” Remus grinned back at him and hooked a hand around his neck. Sirius glanced around quickly to see if anyone was watching him, before letting himself be pulled into a kiss.

“Boyfriends. I like that.” Remus kissed him again, slower this time, pushing back on Sirus’s chest. Sirius laid back on the ground, pulling Remus over him. They kissed slowly, letting their tongues intertwine, both of them feeling their cheeks heating up. Reluctantly, Remus pulled away. Sirius chased after his lips, only stopping when Remus put a hand on his shoulder.

“James should be at practice. Peter has a date with Dorcas.” Sirius smiled knowingly at Remus, knowing what he was implying.

“Empty dorm.”

“Empty dorm.”

The two boys rushed up to the empty Gryffindor dormitory to get some time alone with each other before needing to go down for dinner.

* * *

Exam week was extremely busy for the boys, leaving there no time to be alone. It was irritating Remus, adding to the stress of exams. He wanted to spend time with Sirius alone before having to tell James and Peter about their relationship.

He knew he had to tell James as soon as exams were over. James would be on him immediately with setting him up on a date with a girl, and he knew he couldn’t say no without providing a reason, after already promising yes.

He could tell not getting to be alone together was affecting Sirius as well. He was acting irritable and on edge during the entire week. Yesterday after breakfast he saw James pull Sirius away to have a talk with him, clearly worried. Remus knew James would be worrying about his best friend until he understood exactly what was happening with him, and would stop at nothing to set everything right.

Two more days and everything would be back in the open.

* * *

They didn’t get two days. The four boys were sitting at the end of the Gryffindor table eating dinner when a Hufflepuff girl went up to where they were sitting. She handed Remus a note, blushing hard, and ran back to her table where her friends all immediately started giggling and glancing at the boys. Remus opened the note, cracking the black and gold wax seal.

“What is it?” James asked, shoving his head in to see the note.

“Be patient James.” Remus scolded as he unfolded the note.

“Well, tell us what it is.” Peter joined in with James in trying to see what the note said. Sirius kept quiet, slowly eating his treacle tart. He was looking at Remus though.  
Remus opened the note to read the hastily scrawled writing.

> _To: Remus Lupin_  
>  _From: Natalie Layman_  
>  _Will you go on a date with me at the next Hogsmeade visit after exams? xoxo_  
>  _P.S. I’ll be waiting for you_ _a_ _t_ _Madam Puddifoots._

Remus looked at the letter in surprise. He looked up to Peter, who was also gaping, and then at James who was smiling widely. He didn’t dare look at Sirius yet.

“You have to say yes!” James said, bouncing in his seat excitedly.

“This is perfect!” Peter said, having recovered from his shock, “She can be the girl you date after exams!”

“It’s just one date.” Remus said quietly, “She didn’t mention being my girlfriend.”

“Are you going to say yes?” Sirius’s quiet voice interrupted James and Peter’s excitement. It was the first time he’d spoken in a bit. Remus glanced over for a second, taking in Sirius’s face, and then looked quickly back at the note. His heart pounded in his chest as he thought about how scared and guarded Sirius had looked.

“I- I don’t know,” Remus answered. Sirius looked back down.

“Say yes then!” James cried. Sirius abruptly stood up, pushing the bench back.

“I have to go finish my Potions essay.” He then turned sharply on his heel and ran out of the hall. Remus watched him go, wanting to call out and say something, but not knowing what to say.

“What’s wrong with him?” asked Peter.

“I don’t know,” James answered, looking at where Sirius had previously been sitting. He then turned to Remus. “Are you going to go after him?” He looked at Remus expectantly.

“Why me?” Remus knew he should go after Sirius, but was surprised James was telling him to go and not going up himself.

“You two are… close.” James seemed lost for words to explain it better, but Remus knew what he meant. James had to have noticed Remus and Sirius getting closer, even if he didn’t know the nature of their relationship.

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.” Remus stood up and brushed his trousers off.

“We’ll be up in a sec. I think we all should talk.” Peter looked at James in confusion. Remus nodded once at James and walked towards the exit. He walked slowly, not looking forward to the conversation he would have with Sirius soon.

* * *

“Sirius? You in there?” Remus knocked on the dormitory door. He couldn’t help but remember an interaction like this they had had before.

“Leave me alone Remus. Seriously.” Remus waited a second before opening the door. Sirius looked up from where he was sitting on the floor. His knees were tucked in his arms and he was curled up in a ball. Remus walked over to go sit next to him on the floor. He waited for Sirius to say something. “Did you say yes?”

“What?” Remus asked, confused.

“Did you say yes to that girl? About the date?” Sirius was looking at his knees.

“Of course not!” Remus cried. Sirius looked up, and Remus almost gasped at how red his eyes were and the tear tracks on his cheeks.

“What the hell do you mean of course not? You said you might say yes!” Sirius choked after speaking and looked back at his knees. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve.

“I didn’t know what to say, James and Peter were there!” Remus laid a hand on Sirius’s, silently asking for permission. Sirius took his hand in his, granting it.

“So you're not going to go out with her?” Sirius looked up.

“No. I’m not. I’m going out with you, aren’t I?” Remus smiled at Sirius who laid his head on Remus’s shoulder. Sirius squeezed his hand.

“Yeah, you are.” Sirius smiled now and turned his head to the side to kiss Remus’s cheek hard. Remus turned his head so he could meet Sirius’s lips, and kissed him softly on the lips. Remus cupped Sirius’s cheek and pulled him closer. Sirius leaned into Remus, pressing their bodies together.

“James is gonna have questions, isn’t he?” Sirius asked, resting his head on Remus’s chest.

“Yeah, he is. He said he and Peter are gonna come up here soon. He’s worried about you.”

Sirius hummed, the motion sending vibrations through Remus’s chest. “I’m sorry for running out. I should have known that would make James worry.”

“I’m sorry for hesitating with that note. That must have made you feel terrible, thinking I was going to leave you for some girl.”

“It’s okay babe. I think we’ve both been on edge this week, and having to decide what to do with James and Peter there can’t have been easy.” Remus wrapped his arms tighter around Sirius, pulling him even closer against his chest. He could feel Sirius smiling against his shirt, and breathing softly in the silence.

“Are you smelling me?” Remus chuckled, looking down at Sirius. Sirius flushed.

“No!” Sirius dug his head further into Remus’s chest, Remus’s arms around his shoulders. He was grinning, cheeks bright red.

“You sure?”

“You just smell good. Like those pretty pink flowers that are all over the Potter’s garden.”

“The chrysanthemums?”

“Yeah.” Sirius smiled up at Remus fondly. “Those.” There was a knock at the door, knocking them both out of their trances.

“Guys? You in there?” James' voice carried into the dorm room. Sirius shot a questioning look at Remus. Remus shook his head and tightened his arms around Sirius. Sirius nodded, leaning his head on Remus’s shoulder.

“Yeah. Come in.” Remus called to James. The door creaked open and James and Peter walked in. Both of them immediately looked at where Sirius and Remus were sitting, holding each other on the floor.

“Oh. Hey guys.” Peter greeted them. James still hadn’t said anything.

Sirius looked to his best friend. “James?”

James cracked a smile. “I knew it!” He jumped up and down giddily. Sirius blushed and tucked his face into Remus’s neck.

“How did you know?” asked Remus, running a hand through Sirus’s hair.

“It was kind of obvious,” added Peter, flopping down on his bed.

“How?!” Sirius cried, lifting his head up to look back and forth between James and Peter.

“Come on Padfoot, you really think me and Pete didn’t notice you guys slipping off to the dormitory whenever it was empty?” Sirius blushed, the pink on his cheeks highlighting his freckles.

“I knew you thought something was up. But I didn’t know if you knew we were dating.” Remus slips his hand into Sirius’s.

“So that’s what this is? You guys are actually dating?” James asked the boys, looking at their linked hands.

“Yeah.” Sirius kissed Remus’s cheek. “He’s my boyfriend.”

“You guys are cute,” said Peter, sitting up on the bed.

“I know we are.” Remus pulled Sirius in closer. They were both smiling wide, relieved to finally have everything out in the open.

“What are you going to say to Natalie Layman? She might get upset.” James immediately put a damper on Remus’s mood.

“Yeah, she’ll probably be heartbroken,” Pete added. Sirius’s smile grew dim, and he looked at Remus for an answer.

“I’ll talk to her on Saturday. Let me get through the last day of exams and then I’ll do it.”

“That sounds good,” said Sirius, and kissed Remus again quickly. He smiled at Sirius, searching his eyes for any of the doubt that had been there previously. Sirius looked completely happy now, and Remus felt almost completely relaxed for the first time in ages. Now he just needed to get through turning down Natalie and the rest of the exams, and all weight would be lifted from his shoulders.

* * *

The next day was stressful as Remus got through his final exams. He could barely concentrate as he kept looking over at Natalie over on the Hufflepuff table. She kept glancing up at him and then glaring back at the wooden table. The girl next to her, one of the girls who had giggled with her after she sent the note, kept glancing over to her and whispering to her.  
Remus dreaded talking to her because she seemed like a nice girl. He had noticed her in the hallway before, always helping someone with their books or repairing their broken bags. She also had a mischievous side, as he had caught her on multiple equations grinning widely after seeing the aftermath of another classic Marauders prank.  
Natalie seemed like someone he would love to hang out with. He wished that she didn’t fancy him, as he would have liked to ask her to join one of his study sessions with Lily, Mary, and Marlene.

Remus said goodbye to Sirius in the Great Hall on Saturday morning, promising to meet him and James for butterbeer to witness another one of James’s disastrous attempts at wooing Lily. Peter followed Remus out on his way to a date with Dorcas. Peter and he went their separate ways at the Hogwarts entrance, and Remus ran to catch up to Natalie who was walking ahead of him.

“Natalie! Natalie, wait up!” Remus ran after Natalie who stopped but didn’t turn. He caught up with her and she started walking again, making him match her fast pace.

“So, is it a yes?” she surprised him with how bluntly she asked.

“I- uh.” he hesitated. She turned on her heel to look him in the eye. She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head.

“Yes?”

“I… no. I’m sorry, but I can’t go out with you.” He winced as he studied her face for her reaction.

“Okay. Nice meeting you.” She took off one of her gloves and stuck out her hand. Remus looks at it in confusion. “It’s called a handshake, Lupin. You shake it.” He stared at her hand dumbly, and she put her glove back on and turned on her heel again. She started walking in the other direction. “Wait, what?” Natalie groaned and turned back again.

“What do you want? You can’t go out with me. Do you want me to cry? Want me to yell at you for not wanting to date me when you’re so obviously dating Sirius Black.” Natalie’s tone was clearly exasperated, and she raised the same eyebrow again at him. Remus gaped at her.

“How do you know about me and Sirius?”

“How could I not? You’ve been making eyes at each other for the past year or so. I was honestly surprised you guys ever got your shit together and started going out.” She started walking again, looked back at Remus briefly, and jerked her head in the direction she was walking, motioning for him to walk with her. He walked along with her as he thought of something to say.

“Were you upset?”

“About what? You guys dating?” her tone was softer now.

“Yeah. I mean, you like me right?” Remus looked down at her; she was a few inches shorter than him.

“Not really.” Her cheeks were slightly flushed now, but Remus was not sure if it was from the cold of the early Saturday morning, or the conversation.

“Why did you send me that note though?” She glanced at him briefly, but then fixed her gaze on the path in front of them.

“My friends think I fancy you. They convinced me to ask you out to finally get a boyfriend. According to them, I need one.”

“A similar thing happened to me.” Remus realized their situations were similar. “My friends said after the exams I had to go out with a girl to finally get a girlfriend.”

“Hey, and both of us were secretly in love with our best friends,” Natalie added, laughing humorlessly. Remus turned his head sharply to look at Natalie. “Yeah. You know that girl that always sits next to me at meals?” Remus did. The girl was always raising her hand in lessons and was always sitting in the library studying. More than once she had offered to help take the load off of Remus and take some of his tutoring students. He had assumed she was a Ravenclaw, but with her soft smile and kind eyes, as she helped first years with their studies, it made sense she was a Hufflepuff.

“She’s the girl?” Natalie nodded. She looked less confident now, a small frown on her face. “Hey, Natalie?”

“Yeah?”

“D’you wanna come with me to meet my friends for butterbeers?” He didn’t ask her because he felt bad, but because he genuinely wanted to get to know her better.

“Um. Sure. Will Sirius be okay with that? I know my note probably didn’t help you guys.” She bit her lip, looking guilty now.

“We’re good now. We talked things out. Honestly, it probably helped us be more open.” She cheered up at that.

“I’m glad. Okay, I’ll come. As long as it's not Madam Puddingfoots.” She cracked a grin at Remus.

“I’m guessing that was your friends' idea too?” Natalie didn’t seem like the kind of girl that would choose the ruffles and pink covered tea shop.

“Yep. I’m worried about the fact that they were actually serious.” Remus laughed at that, and the two walked down the stone path towards the warmth of the Three Broomsticks.

* * *

A week later Remus lounged on the couch of the Gryffindor common room. He watched James and Peter play chess and Natalie and the girls compare their notes on the last lesson. He didn’t understand why, as all the lessons were much more relaxed now with the end of school only a couple weeks away. Lily had explained that it was good to prepare for next year's NEWTS, but Marlene and Mary seemed less enthusiastic. Remus had heard Marlene mutter under her breath on multiple occasions about “Blasted Transfiguration,” or “Bloody Potions.”

The whole common room was buzzing with anticipation for the summer. Remus was too, this being one of the only summers he could remember being excited for. He was going to stay with the Potters and Sirius for a month and he couldn’t wait.

Sirius opened the portrait door and climbed into the room. He immediately went over to Remus on the couch and pushed his legs off the cushion. Sirius sat down next to Remus and leaned his head on Remus’s shoulder.

“Hey, Babe,” Sirius says quietly, so only Remus could hear.

“Hey, Pads.” Sirius turned his head to kiss Remus. Remus pulled him in closer, deepening the kiss.

“Hey! Remus and Sirius!” James called over to them, looking up from his chess game. “If you guys are gonna snog, do it in the dormitory!”

“And on your own beds!” Peter added. Remus winced as he remembered the embarrassing experience last weekend when he and Sirius had been drunk and accidentally started snogging on Pete’s bed. It was not a fond memory.

“D’you wanna go out to the lake?” Sirius asked Remus, standing up from the couch. He stretched his arms above his head, pulling his white button-up shirt up showing a sliver of his stomach. Remus’s eyes jumped to bare skin and he blushed slightly.

“Yeah sure,” Remus said, standing up and taking Sirius’s hand.

“Have fun!” James called after them laughing with Peter. Remus and Sirius stepped out of the portrait hole. Behind him, Remus could hear Peter’s shouts of “Checkmate!” as he beat James at chess for the thousandth time.

* * *

On the grounds near the lake, Remus and Sirius walked along the fresh grass holding hands. They talked excitedly about the summer ahead and avoided the talk of the approaching war. While everyone couldn’t wait for the summer, it came with the fact that they would only have one year left of school and therefore only one more year left before they were thrust into the war.  
For now, though, they had a whole summer left and Remus couldn’t wait. He pulled Sirius in closer to kiss him lightly. Sirius blushed and looked downward, his eyelashes fluttering.

“You look pretty in the light,” Remus told him. The light made Sirius’s dark hair stand out against his pale skin and highlighted the few freckles on his face. It made his lips look pinker than normal. Remus leaned down to kiss them.

“You’re sweet.” Sirius tucked his head into Remus’s neck, kissing him there lightly.

“I’m just saying the truth,” Remus replied, staring at Sirius. Sirius smacked Remus’s chest, flushing.

“Hey look!” Sirius pointed to a clump of flowers growing at the base of the knobbly tree they were standing under. The pink of the flower’s petals stood out against the brown trunk of the tree, which arched over them, its vines of leaves making a curtain around the couple.

“It’s like the flowers from the Potters garden,” Remus noted. Sirius nodded. Remus crouched down to look at them and noticed one that had been separated from its roots. The stem was severed roughly from its base, but the rosy petals still stayed intact. Remus picked it up and held it in his hand gently like a mother would hold a newborn baby. “This one’s broken,” Remus said, looking up at Sirius. Sirius was watching him with a small smile on his face. Remus stood up and cupped Sirius’s face with his palm.

“What are you doing?” Sirius asked Remus. He turned his face to kiss the palm of Remus’s hand. Remus tucked the pink marigold behind Sirius’s ear and kissed him lightly. Sirius kissed him back and wraps his arms around Remus’s neck.

“I love you,” Remus whispered in Sirius’s ear. Sirius pulled back to look at Remus, eyes wide. “You don’t have to say anything back-”

“I love you too,” Sirius said like it was the clearest thing in the world. He grinned at Remus. They kissed again under the curving branches of the willow tree. The sun was beating high in the sky as the world slipped away around the two boys, completely wrapped up in each other. The noise around them, their final school year, and the impending war all slipped from thought, as they stayed wrapped in each other's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Pink chrysanthemums symbolize affection, attraction, and romance. They are often given to someone you love.
> 
> My tumblr is diangelo2000, feel free to follow!


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